it’s almost 2 in the morning and i cannot fall asleep, knowing that in a few hours i’ll be on my way to Japan. it feels so surreal. i still feel like i’m going to wake up tomorrow and have a normal day. i’m terrified and i don’t like it because it clouds the excitement for the adventures that await me. i’m also terrified of the flight itself. but i keep telling myself that the fact that i’m going with two of my friends whose signs are also from the air element (there is something beautiful about it for me - us being the aquarious, libra and gemini) have to mean it’s going to be all right… right?
i want to apologize in advance for my inactivity - i won’t have much time during my stay in Japan. i didn’t have the time to make a queue as well… *sigh* i don’t even know if i’m going to have the internet connection there… oh but i will take hundreds of photos and show them to you later! *smile*
wish me luck, golden darlings, i’m going to need it. know that i love you all and i’m sorry i wasn’t able to reach out to all of you before my departure. stay safe and take care of yourselves, please.
Such overwhelming Love for the past few days, for everyone, all my friends, my theatre, my family…emotions have been turned to maximum and it’s been nothing but a flowing river of intense, incredible feeling. I’m in love with everyone and want nothing more than to love them and show them how wonderful they are. It’s a desperate kind of love, clinging onto life, onto existence because I have the feeling that it’s all that’s keeping me from stepping over the edge & falling into the abyss. It’s so powerful it fills every part of me until I just might burst, like the river is inside me and it’s only my small body that is containing it. It’s wonderful but utterly exhausting too, always tripping on my tongue, words aren’t right, feeling these feelings and at the end of the day I throw myself on my bed, bones, muscles and heart aching dreadfully. Strange too, because the more I love people, the worse my feelings about myself become, all the light radiating outward, leaving only darkness. But all this love…can one die from loving so much?